A couple of hours ago, I came to the airport with six water bottles because I get thirsty in airports and on planes. But a person who had squeezed herself into her uniform wouldn’t let me bring them in. Water is the new face of evil. Some terrorist used a liquid in a plot to hurt a plane. Now no one is allowed to have liquids. So I stood in front of the luggage scanner and guzzled two of the water bottles.
Why did terrorists choose airplanes in their plot to annoy the West into submission? Why didn’t they choose some place I don’t like to frequent, such as adult bookstores or reptile research facilities or health food stores or jogging tracks? What if jogging tracks suddenly became ultra-high security areas with huge delays? My life would be easier.
I really need the flight attendant to bring me a cup of ginger ale which is all ice because the airline wants to save money on ginger ale.
